FAQ
FAQ – (In Progress. Feel free to mail me questions you have, or questions you get asked a lot! Or any suggestions you have for this area)
I’m new to the public BC BDSM community and I want to get involved where do I get started?
That depends a lot on your comfort level. Are you a jump in with both feet kind of person, nervous but mostly excited and raring to go? Or are you nervous as all get-go, really intimidated, and want to ease into things?
Whichever place you’re coming from. I think the best way to get started is with public or semi-public events. All of the public events listed on our calendar are safe places to socialize. No, we can’t guarantee all the people at all those places all the time are going to be safe people who will always do safe things. What I can tell you, is these are public social situations where in all cases the group looks out for it’s members. The vast majority of attendees are respectful.
Want to start slow? come out to a munch to socialize or look for an educational event geared toward beginners or your experience level! Want to jump in with both feet and feel the heat and the intensity? come to a party!
What happens at a munch?
Check out our munch guide!
What are good places to learn things? My friend is going to teach me play piercing/flogging/breathplay/gorean service, is this a good idea?
Learn things from the best sources you can.
Unless your friend happens to be someone who is very experienced, avoid picking up too much in the way of tips and tricks from them, or just anyone. I know you’re eager to play, eager to acquire skills and information, and that’s great! Just keep in mind that because someone knows more than you do, don’t assume they’re an expert, or even that they know how to do something even remotely right.
Don’t assume because someone self proclaims themselves to be an expert means they are. Your friend may sound like they know what they’re doing, and to your untrained eye it may look impressive. Don’t be misled. Learning something wrong the first time can make it harder to learn something right the first time. Sure, take in information from friends, but take everything you hear with the idea in mind that you need to verify what you’re being taught with a more established source.
Go to a bad modelling/martial arts/dance/etc school and take a few classes and then go to a real academy and they’ll immediately sigh, and think of what you have to unlearn before you can begin to learn. So take your time and educate yourself wisely.
So how do you know who knows their stuff? Get involved in your local community first and ask around. Get multiple opinions. Avoid relying on the voice of one person or one group, heard the term ‘well rounded education’? Get one in BDSM.
Another way of looking at things, especially when it comes to different schools of thoughts in BDSM. Imagine you were an alien brand new to the earth. You were eager to learn all about humanity and how we work. You approach someone and befriend them. They are happy to explain everything to you. Very happy and eager indeed. They are the first to rush and welcome you. You ask them eagerly your first question.. how did life here begin? They live here, you assume, they know the truth of this important question. Now, there are all kinds of things they may answer depending on their beliefs. Don’t you think you might want to hear a few different versions of what other people think? Before you make up your mind, and not just accept the first theory you hear? That first theory, It might be evolution, in might be creationism, it might be something else. Regardless… ‘the truth’ is up to you to determine. It might be good to have heard some varying options so you can make your own educated decision instead of just accepting the first version of things you hear. If you’ve just arrived in the world of BDSM, take some time to meet the locals, and decide where you fit.
You may or may not decide needle play, breath play or Gor (three random examples I picked) are for you. Personally, I only engage in one of these three activities. One I’m not interested in at all. The other I don’t feel is safe enough for my own RISK practices. The one I do do, I went to numerous workshops on, and evaluated risks and techniques with kinky friends in the medical profession.
